I'm about to agree with you Elianne - I'm about 2 steps away from ditching this whole thing! Jim and I had a come to Jesus meeting in front of his Dr. yesterday - she suggested that he get on anti-depressants and he told her "he wasn't depressed" and that I was just being hyper-sensitive to what we all know is going to be the inevitable. She told him that maybe he wasn't depressed, but that it might help me out a little and take the edge off for him - He told her that she was hired to treat his cancer and that mine and his problems would be taken care of at home - I shut down and then he let me have it again in the car. So, I told him that I needed a few days and I'd check in with him later; he started singing a different tune after I went back to work after the appt. He called and apologized and that he would work to think "happy thoughts" and stop taking all this out on me. He's only started doing this in the past month, but I'm telling, you I feel everyone's pain - I feel guilty for getting angry, depressed, worried and then when I'm out of sight, he is calling for me from another room saying that I don't want to spend time with him. His motto is "life sucks and then you die"! If I've heard it once, I've heard it ten thousand times!! I finally told him in front of his Dr. that if life sucks so much, then why are you working so hard to stay in it....he didn't answer - hopefully this will be the one and only time that I'll be like this with him, but I do understand that we have it tough - but we love 'em and would do anything for 'em...there's just a line that shouldn't be crossed and Jim crossed it for a while, but it looks like he got the message. I was just embarassed that it was in front of his Dr!