Hi Teresa, You and Andy are coming to the end of this rollercoaster ride but it's not over just yet. But keep that end in site. Your a wonderful caregiver getting Andy to swallow and caring for him so much. I can tell by your posts that he's your main concern and that everything you do is with his best interests at heart. Even if he gets cross with you when he comes back out of this tunnel he will appreciate the way you were there for him.
His neck sounds painful although his mouth sounds worse. Steve didn't get too bad on his neck. Once the darkness appeared on his skin our doctor gave us a script for some cream called silverzene. great stuff but leaves a dark mark on the skin (but washes off). We'd rub it on twice a day really thick. Steve's skin would just absorb it. It worked well and he never really complained about his neck being sore (although he is one of those males that doesn't complain). The inside of his mouth was ok until the last week and it appeared to get worse after his last chemo.
When Steve had trouble talking we used just note pads and pens. He used to carry them around in his pocket so he could write down what he wanted to say. Only problem is that pen and paper came out everywhere. Even while he was driving down an expressway doing 110km an hour. Very unnerving watching someone try to steer, hold pen, hold paper and also write and watch the traffic. Gave me a few grey hairs that day I tell you. We also had our own personal style of sign language which I'm sure you've developed that already.
Hang in there girl, Andy's a young fit man like Steve. You will both get through this. Come here as much as you want to, to vent. Trust me, I did and I couldn't have coped without it.
thinking of you both
Wendy