Well Angelia,

As forceful and blunt as I have probably sound to you, be sure, that I, as just a caregiver, not a patient, have had my moments losing it too.

Our first walk into the RO's office ...well actually on the way there...I could feel panic rising in my throat. I have never had a panic attack in my life so don't know if this was that but it sure felt like it. I knew we had to be there and I knew that it was the treatment that was going to save Bill's life but I was so overwhelmed and scared and felt like, "What the H*ll are we doing here...this can't be happening." I felt the tears welling and I just wanted to run away. Oddly enough, over the course of a few weeks, the office became like family. I would take Bill and visit with the people who were there at the same times each day learning about their situtions, etc. Some helped me and I helped others. It was a place to share and hold each other up.

You will be fine and once going to treatment, feel a little more in control.

Hugs again,

Deb