Cindy,

I want you to be a little easier on yourself. You have not failed your son in any way. As parents, we tend to get caught up in the competitive nature and want our children to achieve a bit more just a bit sooner than others' children. There was a time when Eagle Scouts were driving their cars to Scouting events. When I was going through treatment, my youngest son moved from Maryland to Texas just in case the cancer or treatment shortened my life. He was working diligently towards his Eagle, too. I tried to participate but I just couldn't keep up and his anger issues around my illness created a "situation" on a camp out and I made the decision to take him out of scouting. I regret having to do it and I especially felt so bad (and guilty) that my life circumstances came between him and his goals. Just as your son, my son knew that my love for him was endless and unconditional. His understanding of my intentions and this ugly disease interfering was way beyond his years. He has thrived and he even thinks he will beat me again this year in our basketball pool. My only fear is that if he does, I can't blame it on radiation, chemo or drugs!!

Wake each day and start your day by thinking something wonderful about each member of your family, starting with you. It will get your thoughts flowing in the right direction. Life may never be like you once remembered, but it will be what you make it.

Ed