A left on saturday morning and said I could communicate wit him by email befor 5pm and that he would be back on saturday if I did as he asked.He was very very angry on friday night and I could see from his eyes that he was not well at all and said nothing .I slept in another room and went i got up found the message,I text him and said I would respect his decision and wanted to help and that the kids were fine(which TG they are as they think he is out are in hospital)The problem is he insisted I go to a councilor which i told him i have then he wanted there number and i said no that this was between me and the councilor ,then he wanted an invoice and then one which has been backdated and now it is the name and address of the concilor nad if i dont give him this he will not come back .I have said i would give an invoice as this is what i agreed to and in the last corrospondence said he could call or doctor if he wanted(as he is a friend and would his given me the name of C)I have spoken to our doctor who knowes that A is very high and has said that i do not need counciling that i am mentaly 100%.btu the idea of the doctors now putting him on more meds and messing him up more I really hate as both myself and my husband have never taken anything other then tablets for a headace .I do not take drugs however i smoke and drink wine ,,I have spoken to my family and they know A is not well and has abad temper and even when he is ok is extremly controlling.I have spoken to my sister and told her more ,she has been very good and advised that i keep telling him that i want to help that i am there for him that i love him and that we can deal with any of there problems when he i better.am i wrong I just hate the control he has over me and feel he is being unreasonable.I keep saying we are all reponsible for our own actions and that if he decides that he cannot come home there is nothing i can do if he does not accept the invoice.I know i am a good person like he is ,I kow i am level headed 90% of the time .I dont lose my temoer i dont shout ,I do not bring up past hurts fallings again , I am average .when my father was sick we had him for 2 years with lots of help and support from my family,When A mum was sick I from my fathers hospital experence and meds ,set up a diary of her meds ,memory etc as they siad she had a number of strocks and would never function again,we took her out of the hospital and 6 months later she was fine and lived on her own for 2 years befor she died .MY sister cannot understand how I have not stud up for myself as she said i am strong which I am .sorry i am going on to much,if i could turn back the clock cut out the hurt i would be a better person but a bit of me now is dead ,and i am the one going on when A is going through shit and now needs me the most. I am sorry..please excuse the spellings
seanasm
