Your husband is likely very frustrated and caught in the "why me phase" he's taking it out on you. Don't take it personally. He has to sort it out mentally for himself. Just tell him you love him and are there for him, and if he needs to talk, cry, or scream you are there for him and will be along side him, but will not be his whipping boy. That simple. He will hopefully get the message. I think sometimes men in particular don't like feeling vulnerable, scared, and weak. Which is what cancer does to you. Plus if you are the breadwinner (primary) that adds to the stress. As for the tube... and the dr. NO dr. should give you a hard time over a choice you make. It only adds to the stress you are already experiencing. You have to advocate for your husband, and yourself in a medical environment. A good dr. is willing to answer questions and is able to give reasonable intelligent answers and options. If asked why no peg tube, he should have been able to tell you specifically why it was a bad idea. Particularly when it is used more often than not because the treatment can be devastating, and cause major nutrition issues. And nutrition helps with healing and such. What he said to you is actually contrary to the rest of the medical establishment so you do have a right to know the reason behind his stance. It would have made more sense if he'd said he thinks that pegs cause a lot of issues with swallowing post treatment because some people tend to rely on them solely for nutrition and thus lose their swallowing reflex. But that is something that can be overcome with diligence, and coaxing ;o) It would be different if he were recommending standard care and you rejected it for some outlandish reason, then I imagine as a dr. KNOWING and seeing this stuff day in and day out, it might be frustrating. But as I said, he is going against the norm, you have a right to know why and then choose not to take his advice.

Any dr. who is threatened by a patient making an important decision about their care, is someone I would give a wide berth to.
hugs and take care.