HI Seana

You mention your concern with your husbands behaviour and just wanted to let you know it is not unusual. It is very difficult but try not to take it personally.

My early posts were often about my Alex's behaviour and I described him as "a tantrum throwing 2 year old". Alex is the most gentle and balanced human being I know and his normal way of dealing with conflict is to negotiate his way out of it, so when the "tantrums" started, I was taken completely by surprise.

We had some quite nasty fights during his treatment. The fights Alex would pick would be quite unpredictable at times. I remember one day he accused me of choosing the wrong lane to drive in and when I reminded him that we were turning left in 200metres which was why I had moved into the left lane, his response was that I should have stayed in the right lane (on a 3 lane road) because it moved faster. Huh ???

I learned that besides the pain, fear and feeling of impotence which was causing a lot of his behaviour, there appeared to be an actual physiological reaction to the chemotherapy which also caused confusion and memory loss which led to frustration and temper outbursts.

Months later, whilst speaking with my father, I discovered he was experiencing the same thing with my mother (she was undergoing chemo and radiation for breast and renal cancer).

It eventually went away but not immediately. I can't remember when the tantrums stopped but think it was pretty much as soon as treatment finished. The confusion and odd conversations including forgetfulness went on for months although it diminished with time.

My old Alex is back now and I can't remember how long since we fought.

Hang in there Seana, it gets better with time.