Perhaps you can keep going with all your plans as scheduled and when the time comes if he wants to attend, terrific, but if not, that decision should be respected. Your FIL will come to terms and adapt to the major changes when he is ready. As long as he knows that he has support from family, and if he should need it from a professional he is aware that that is also available to him, in time he will be able to deal with everything.

After treatment, I chose not to attend a family wedding because I just wasn't feeling good about myself and would have felt uncomfortable for several reasons. Everyone in my family accepted and totally supported my decision and never questioned it.


Karen



46 yrs:
Apr 07-SCC 80% entire tongue removed,T4N1M0
Neck/D,Jaw Split, Trache 2 ops,PEG 3.5yrs
30 x rad,6 x Cisplatin,
30 x HBO
Apr'08- flap Recon + ORN Mandibulectomy
(hip bone to reconstruct jaw)
Oct'08 1 Plate out-jaw
Mar'09 Debulk flap
Sep'09/Jan&Nov'10/Feb&Jun'11/Jan&Jul'12/Oct'13/April'14-More surgery