Did any you feel all alone after your Dx. I know that I am a lucky one to cath it so early, and am very greatful for that. I can not wrap my hands around the idea of having SCC in the first place. Some days are better than others, but I am trying to be strong for my children and not show emotion. When I went back to work on Wednesday for ths first time, I am a teacher, I had some kids making fun of the way i was talking. I was not upset with them because all they know is my voice sounded different. What I did get upset was another colleague made a smart remark about the kids not understanding me. That really upset me. I am very self-contious about my speech anyway. Today I had a kid tell me he couldn't understand me. I was not upset at him, but the fact that I can't talk right any more. How can I teach my students if they do not udnerstands. I love my job and I would not change it for the world. Now, I just want to be left alone. My own children want me to do things with them and I do not want to. I want to in my room and just be in bed. IS this a stage of the process that you go through? Does it get easier? I am really trying to have faith, but when ever I talk to someone about this all they say That is not a good one to get. No cancer is good to get. Anyway, sorry I just needed to vent.

Angelia, little sister is a teacher in Chicago where it;s a rough job,, I bet she can give you some pointers. I psy no sttentio when someone makes fun of me, I had to call a company the other day about a problem, The lady spoke aboue as much good english as an asian bull could. She ehad the nerve to tell me she couldn't understand me, LOL I said lady I have had cancer and can't be understood sometimes, Now what in the hell is the reason I can't undersand you?? I told her to quit her job and go learn some english so customers would understand what she was trying to say, Needless to say she sure did get polite,, BUt I didn't LOL

Angelia,

All of us have to get adjusted to having cancer. That's just normal. Time and this site will help you a lot in that regard.

Angelia, I know how you feel. I was there once myself. I have used crutches, splints, neck braces and now a walker for over 20 years. Several years ago a neck surgery cut the nerve to my Rt Vocal Cord. This had a big impact on my speech. For my physical appearance I've said "I had an accident", "was in a bar fight", "fell down stairs", "arthritis". depending on the person asking. You get the idea. My neck on the Rt has so many scars, from 5 fusions and now 2 cancer surgeries I'm thinking of using,
"its my make-up for a "Horror Skit", looks real huh". With little kids I just explain very simply.

My speech could be difficult to understand to some people. My cancer surgery has made it harder yet. Especially over the phone. You didn't say how old the kids are that you teach. I tell all ages that I
had an operation and it is difficult to speak. To tell me if they don't understand a word or words. I do try to speak slower and concentrate on pronouncing as clearly as possible. I practice in front of the bathroom mirror. Kids pickup what you're trying to say faster than adults. As a teacher you have a blackboard to go to if all else fails. Have you let the kids know why your speech has changed? This would be a good teaching opportunity. I know it may make you uncomfortable. It's ok to feel down for awhile as long as you are working at making things better. Venting here is good. Good luck.

I have not even thought about telling them why my speech has changed. I teach special ed students and co-teach in some reguarl classes. I mainly work with 6th grad students. My special ed. students know that I had mouth surgery and are very understanding when I have stop tlaking because it hurts. The classes I co-teach in do not know all the information as to them I am just an aid.

Angelina,

What you are feeling is NORMAL. I had a very hard time too. I work in customer service so I can understand the talking at work problem also. I wish I could give you a hug....you will get through this. You will come to terms with this in your own way, at your own pace and that is ok. I'm sorry the people you work with are not sensitive to what you are going through but people can be rude. Do you have anyone at work that you are close to? I used to walk with my boss every day and she was a huge help to me and still is.

I would like to thank you for what you do. My younger sister is in special education classes and what you do is a wonderful thing.

Please feel free to send me a PM whenever you need to vent. I hope this site is helping you also...there are a lot of wonderful people here.

There are a few people at work I can talk to, but this is my first year at this school. Now don't get me wrong most of my colleagues have been very supportive and my boss especially. She has said to take as much as I need to recover. I guess my whole thing is that it all happened so fast.

Well, my heart goes out to you - I taught at a Community College
many years Our company bought another company and they have moved in with us. One person said they thought I had been in a car crash or something. I just said nothing. I don't want to tell them what happended to me because I don't want their sympathy. I wear turtlenecks and mock turtlenecks all summer. I need to quit that
I know. It's hot and it looks stupid I know, but I cannot stand to look at my neck.
My speech also varies from day to day. Somedays good - it depends on how I sleep and how much or what I try to eat. I try to speek slowly and that helps, but it is hard to remember. I would
think children would be more forgiving.

It is hard, but we have the guts to carry on. Just hold your head high and know how strong you really are.

We are here to listen. Every day is a new one with new changes.
I'll be cheering you on from afar.
Debbie

Angelina, I can say that I can relate to you in some ways. My speech was more affected by facial paralysis then by my mandiblectomy/fibular free flap. Anyway I managed hotels in my previous life and due to my severe speech impediment, I am no longer able to do what I did before cancer. I get stared at wherever I go due to my scars and disfigurement due to the facial paralysis. I've been called retarded several times and people generally have the "what the hell happened to you" reaction to me and some have even said that to me.

I made my living and got to my station in my field due to my ability to speak, publically and in a sales/customer environment. The way I looked helped me in everything I did, not to sound pompus at all, however I made sure I was meticulously dressed and groomed at all times. Now I look totally different, horribly disfigured and I lost 70lbs so none of my fine clothing fit. I look like hell and that draws a lot of attention.

I have a hard time seeing myself in the mirror or even pictures of me from before cancer and not breakdown. I know that eventually I have to come to grips with my "new" self but I loved the old me and I'm still a little bitter losing that.

Angelina,
it does get better you are just barely out of surgery!! I suspect a lot will come back but you must give it some time; it is actually amazing how much you can and will adapt and compensate. (Although YOU may not think so).
Then there is this, there is a huge variety how clearly people speak anyway (accents and all that, just look at Arnold.. ok bad example). One way to combat your problem is to increase the visual portion of teaching (use more graphs figures/handouts).... or the ppt lecture from hell!
I still have problems with some words too.... just try to say magnetic susceptibility quickly.... same with assassin (although that word I do not use that much in class). Also consider this now and again: we are lucky to be able to have these problems.

M