I so depressed. Her health problems are numerous at this point. She is currently in the hospital fighting a C-Diff infection, broken ankle, irregular heart rate, a blood clot. In light of her type of cancer, her oncologist suggested that we halt any treatments. She had her mandibule removed in June. The surgey did not completely remove all the cancer. She is not a canidate for chemo and had radiation that did not work before.

I am just so sad now adays. I hate to see her suffer. Yet, I am scared to lose my mom. It's painful to think about life without her. I cry all the time now. It occupys my mind all the time. I am the only child. I am not married. I have to get myself together so I can work.

I would like to hear how others got through this time in thier lives.

Hello. Just a note to say I am in the middle of this myself, so cannot tell you how others got thru it, but I can and will keep you and your mom in my prayers. Seeing our parents go thru things is almost harder than going thru them ourself. Stay focused on the day by day, love each other, pray for God to intervene and Him decide the rest.

I lost my mom in Sept and going thru that process was the hardest thing I have ever done and I never thought I would be able to handle it, until I went thru it ... that is when you get the strength you need and that you never thought you had prior. She has now been gone almost a year - I miss her terribly, still start to go to tell her something and remember she is not there anymore (she was living for 5 yrs in an ensuite at my place so she was so close) ... but I know she is happy and out of pain so I release her and know someday I will rejoin her and for now she would want me to be happy and live life to its fullest with no regrets as she did.

Hang in there sweety. You can and will make it. ((HUGS))

Daughter, you are going thru a long hard time. Read the post from Tedsdaughter, who just passed away. She is such a caring daughter and you seem to be too. I lost my mom to cancer a few years ago and all you can do is keep all of the good memories fresh in your mind without dwelling on them. It gets to a person once in awhile but we fight thru it and go on living and enjoying life. I hope your Mom doesn't suffer needlessly.

It's very hard and there is no easy way of going down this road. I'm one of seven siblings and when we all needed to pull together in a time of need...I was the only one there...So, don't feel bad that you were an only child but rather you are the twinkle in your mothers eye and that you two love and care for each other unconditionally. Tell your mother that you love her and give her at least one big long tight hug everyday. Good thoughts and time will have to take care of the rest.

Babs,

I was recently in the situation that you are now in. It sucks. I'm not an only child but I may as well have been. I found myself having a lot of responsibility that I didn't have before. I was sad beyond anything I had ever experienced but yet these new responsibilities required me to put my sadness behind me and deal with it later.

In the mornings when I was getting ready for work I had to tell myself....I can do this. I'm strong. I can't fall apart today. Dad needs to know that I'm ok. Dad needs to know that I'm here for him and Mom. Dad needs to know that if they need help that I'm there.

You should try to build a support network. Do you have any close relatives (aunts, uncles, cousins) that could help you with your mother? How about close friends that you could talk about the situation with? I found great support from my friends. I even made new friends with people who had lost a parent. They shared their experiences with me and it helped me to realize that others had been through this before and they were ok and that I would be ok too. Sometimes it just helps to have someone to share your fears with.

This forum is also a great place to get support. Just know that you are not alone. Feel free to PM me anytime. I'll lbe happy to listen and help if I can. Hang in there.

Hugs,

Joy