All I want to do right now is scream at the top of my lungs, "I hate you cancer!!!!! I hate you and want you out of my body!!! I hate you and want you to leave everyone's body because no one wants you!!!! I want to punch you so hard and knock you down! I hate you cancer!!

I hate it too Tink....but I am battling every day! Don't give up! Get a good support system in place! I feel for you and what you are going through!

When I was going through treatments I would message my sisters every few days with an update and end with "screw cancer." Although I didn't say screw.

Getting POed at this disease and all the pain that comes with it is pretty natural. I hope you can take all of that emotion and focus it on getting better. Like Cougardad said, it's a "battle". Fight back.

Thank you all for your support! I've re-read your posts several times. I pop into my "safe place" (aka; OCF) to read whatever ever I can to be more informed.

You....my friends are my new addiction!

Next week: Packed with appointments

Tentative date for surgery: 5/9/17

We HATE it too Tink222

Hate it.

but we LOVE OCF and we give HUGS here too ((((((( )))))))) sending giant one your way

oddly, enough... in the moment of writing hate it... because I am a lord of the rings fan...
I see Gollum and hear him saying "we Hates it" "we do"

You made me laugh out loud about Gollum!

I'm having surgery on May 9th and scared out of my mind!!! Lately I'm worried about surviving the sugery. So I've worked myself up into a lather and I'm trying to organize family photos, preparing to leave video messages but it's making me soooo sad. The forum and other people I've talked to encourage patients to think positive and that our outcome(s) will be better. So I need to leave this pity party and put my big girl panties on starting right now!!!

I wish OCF had a live chat room.

I completely understand where you are coming from. Most patients are afraid of the unknown and the "what if's" can quickly get away from them. Best thing I can tell you is to focus on what is controllable and to stay busy. If you do things to keep your mind occupied on something like a new hobby, reading something that interests you and holds your attention, family outings to make memories, etc all will help pass the time. With about 2 weeks until you have surgery, you have tons of things to do to prepare.

We are strictly monitored to ensure our forum is about only scientifically proven medical procedures to keep everyone safe. A chat room would never be able to be monitored to keep everyone safe from bogus cures, sales attempts, incorrect (potentially harmful) medical advice, etc. We take pride in being a badge holder for many years from Health on the Net. This means our site must pass the scrutiny from a panel of independent judges to provide correct, relevant, up to date medical info without any influence from businesses trying to sell our members things or trying to collect email addresses or member lists. Very few sites can pass these tests and continually exceed expectations like OCF has. While a chat feature would be great for the moment, it opens up a door for our members to be taken advantage of when they are at their weakest. Im sorry to disappoint you but I dont see OCF ever adding the chat feature. But on the bright side, posts get answers usually fairly quickly from members who all have things to contribute to help others. We're like a very big extended family who understands each other better than most familys ever could.

Dont you worry, we will get you thru this. We'll give you info and support to help as much as we can. Its ok to contact me tomorrow if you'd like to talk, you have my contact info if you need me.

Sending you healing vibes, energy, thoughts and prayers. It's an extremely daunting and difficult time and if you need to talk, contact me.

How well I remember what you're dealing with since I was diagnosed only last August and had my surgery Sept 19th, 2016.
I was and still am alone with no family or close friends for support or help, but I'm okay and have come through this ordeal intact probably because I'm such a stubborn and tough person. Btw, I refused radiation and chemo and think that's why I'm as well as I am though I'm sure many people would disagree. Again, feel free to contact me for support.