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ak123 #187141 12-11-2014 03:21 PM
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 134
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If it's just impossible to not go through the myriad of possibilities, make sure that you also consider the chance that the treatment works properly, The recovery goes better than expected, and the side effects are minimal. That has at least as good a chance if not a better chance of happening than all of the bad stuff.


Dx March 2011 via FNA (49 yrs old)
SCC BoT
HPV+ exact strain unknown
Stage IVa T3N2cM0
Cisplatin x 3, IMRT x 40 (7267 cGy)
One node removed post-treatment (rad dmg)
Clean PET 10/28/11
Swallow therapy
ak123 #187142 12-11-2014 05:34 PM
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Posts: 1,024
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My motto
"Don't borrow sorrow from tomorrow"

Enjoy today and each and every day,
Tammy


Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!
ak123 #187154 12-13-2014 04:21 AM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 2,671
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Try to hang on to all the positive news and positive possibilities you see and hear . . . like the doctors saying he will be ok. That in itself has got to be something concrete to make you feel better. I still worry about my son and every minor thing that I see him experiencing. I've learned to give those 3am worry attacks of "What Ifs" a time limit and then make myself go on to something positive or I get up and do something physical. Instead of stressing over the long list of things that could go wrong (and most likely will never happen), get yourself a list ready of all the positives that could go Right. My son was a lot older than your brother when he got SCC and he's been cancer-free for over 8 years now! Your brother has youth on his side and has every reason to believe in the excellent doctors who are treating him and so should you. So start making your "happy" list for the next time the "what ifs" attack. And come back here often, no matter the time of day or night. It helped me and will help you.


Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)



ak123 #187155 12-13-2014 04:39 AM
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 2,671
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PS - I have to agree with the "Fake it till you make it" theory. Especially when you are with your brother or your Mom. It will help them, and you, too.


Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)



ak123 #187156 12-13-2014 07:12 AM
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 286
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ak how much help are you getting yourself? Is this 3am business common? We all have bad days, dark days, when its harder than usual, but you shouldn't be taking this all on yourself.

Everyone is saying "stay positive" which is true, but it has its limits. I would consider seeing your doctor if you haven't already. I saw 4 psychs this year. One to help cope with the diagnosis, one to cope with the treatment, one to cope with the recovery, and one to help the transition back to work. Add to that a combination of sleeping and anti-depressant meds. I'm not saying you need all that, but thats what I needed. All that was in addition to the physical stuff, the pain meds etc.

I'm sure I've mentioned this to you before, because I say it to all the caregivers. Your brother needs you happy and healthy, so you're in a good position to support him. Some caregivers (like Mrs OzMojo) grind themselves to exhaustion which does us no good at all. Eventually I was able to get her to see her doctor, get her blood pressure checked and all that.

If you haven't already, please see your doctor and take care of yourself.


Cheers, Dave (OzMojo)
19Feb2014 Diagnosed T2N2bM0 P16+ve SCC Tonsil.
31Mar2014 2 Cisplatin, 70gy over 7 weeks (completed 16May2014)
11August2014 PET/CT clear.
17July2019 5 years NED.
ak123 #187178 12-14-2014 06:00 AM
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Posts: 559
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It will be what it will be -- wise words from Bart, a previous forum member, who survived more recurrences than I have fingers to count with. During all his recurrences he maintained a positive attitude and helped a lot of people get through their cancers. He helped me tremendously. Here's a summary of what he taught me.

Worrying about anything won't change the outcome. If it turns into cancer, worrying about it won't have prevented it, it also won't cure it. So, why do it. If it turns out we do have cancer, we will face it at that time, why face it now when it may not even happen. If it turns out we don't have cancer, we can be happy THEN that we dodged a bullet.

All of us have plenty of enjoyable things we can keep our minds occupied with. Why waste our time with worry, it accomplishes nothing positive.


Tony, 69, non-smoker, aerobatics pilot, bridge player/teacher, avid dancer (ballroom, latin, swing, country)

09/13 SCC, HPV 16, tonsillectomy, T2N0.
11/13 start rads, no chemo
12/13 taste gone, dry mouth,
02/14 hair slowly returning
05/14 taste the same, dry sinuses, irrigation helps.
01/15 food taste about 60% returned, dry sinuses are worse in winter.
12/20 no more sinus problems, taste pretty good

ak123 #187208 12-15-2014 02:11 PM
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 176
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Posts: 176
A psychologist once told me to reserve 1/2 hour everyday for my "worry time". If I worried outside of that 1/2 hour I had to push it out to my "time". It gave me a sense of control and worked for me. My cancer was a horrible time for me, but I am a better person for it. With the negative comes some positives. Put your energy into helping other people that are going thru it and focus on the good stuff for 23 1/2 hours.
All the best,
Rob


6-05, Left Tonsil-T1N2bM0 stageIVA, chemo(Cisplatin), radiation(6660cGy), neck disection, no PEG. HPV negative. (Doc suspects posit)
3-9-09 last of 30 HBO treatments.
ak123 #187217 12-15-2014 11:24 PM
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 29
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Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but it doesn't take you anywhere.

I really like the idea of making an appointment to worry for half an hour a day.

I make it a point to not hold my breath.

Yoga, meditation, qigong, tai chi, Zumba, journaling, cooking, gym, phone calls to trusted friends and helping others are all activities that keep my mind occupied and away from worries even if it is temporarily.

I almost forgot, I take vitamin B under my tongue for insomnia.

I hope I can read my own posts in the near future when I need them, but then again 'don't borrow sorrow from tomorrow'.

I wish you all a Serena and restful night.



Patty / husband Dx with Stage 1 SCC
November '12, BOT ulcer
June '13, first biopsy-negative.
October '13, second biopsy-positive
November '13, second opinion at CCC, T1
December '13, partial glossectomy.
September '14, biopsy on lymph nodes, 1 tested positive.
October '14, right side neck dissection. 14 nods out, with only one affected.
November '14, T1N1M0 radiation in the recommended by oncologist
December '14, radiation treatment

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