| | Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | OP  "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 | 1st, Linda is improving slowly but surely. Still having low magnesium counts and needs infusion every Monday but otherwise, all docs are pleased with her progress.
So, on Thursday I found out, on facebook of all things, that my 37 year old niece has been diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic melanoma. She is married to a soldier stationed at Ft. Hood who has been to Afghanistan at least twice and they have 2 children. Expecting more details but this looks very bad.
Meanwhile, Linda is bugging me to call my sister or Mom or someone to learn more, but I just haven't been able to do it.I'm not being petty and not calling because no one has called me, (at least I don't think so) I'm just really not ready to face this just when Linda is getting back to health after the year long battle for her life.
And, there is still just too much on our table. We are trying to file for chapter 7 bankrupsy but the lawyer wants $1800.00. If I had that money, I wouldn't need him. We're too broke to go broke. Also, Linda's son, Michael's, behavior continues to spiral out of control and I just can't take much more from him. Now there's this, which may just break the camel's back. I know I have to talk to my family, and soon, but it's just so hard to do and I'm at a loss for words. And now I'm at a loss for further words here. Please, I know we've been bending God's ear an awful lot lately but please keep Karen and her family in mind and heart.
David R. 65 yr old male non-smoker, light drinker, stage 3 or 4, depending on which doc you ask, scc rt. tonsil, 2 nodes, 7 weeks radiation and chemo. No surgery. Teatment ended 3/20/08. PET scan 8/08 showed no cancer.
And now, as of oct, 2010, caregiver to wife, Linda, with breast cancer.
May, 2013, Linda diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Enuf already.
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 | David, I can certainly understand you not wanting to deal with more right now. You haven't had a respite for so long.
Just curious but can you still keep up with your niece without needing to speak with the family right away? When it's time to call, you will know.
Continued prayers for you and Linda. I'm glad she is improving.
SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 | David - First of all, I'm really glad Linda is improving. You both have been through more than most people can bear and still be able to function. You mentioned you were "expecting more details" re your niece - so I would think it would be better to wait until you find out more before contacting anyone in the family. FB may not always convey accurate information. You are such a very caring person, but the first person you must care about is yourself and if all these stresses get out of control you won't be good for anyone else. You have always been such a great caregiver for Linda and to continue to do so means you need to make sure your own stress level is manageable so that you can stay healthy enough to handle whatever else comes your way. Wow! I'm blown away by the fee charged for bankruptcy! My son went through bankruptcy but he couldn't afford a lawyer in the first place. Somehow he made it through and survived. David, you can just do so much. Time to get some outside (or inside) help for yourself. I've been following your experiences for a long time and there was a time when Michael was helpful to you and Linda. . . . Maybe he could be pressed into service again and help in some way? Sure hope better days are coming for you soon. Sending positive vibes and prayers your way.
Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 | Im very sorry to hear about your niece! Wishing all your family the very best with everything. I know you have been thru so much yourself and then dealt with Linda's illness too.
Best wishes with everything.
ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive  | | | | | Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | OP "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 | Michael is physically very helpful with taking care of Lind's ostomy appliance changes and keeping track of her meds but the stress and psychological misery he causes is not really worth it. I would really rather just bumble through it without his help, even through he is better at changing the ostomy than I am. I will see my Mom today (Mother's day) so she will no doubt know more about Karen.
There is really no one I can talk to about all this, though I did have a good talk with Mom about a week ago but she has plenty of burdens without me laying mine on her. Mom. btw, is coming up on her 89th b-day in a few weeks, but anyway, this is my main outlet for getting crap off my chest so thank you all for bearing with me. Love you all.
David R. 65 yr old male non-smoker, light drinker, stage 3 or 4, depending on which doc you ask, scc rt. tonsil, 2 nodes, 7 weeks radiation and chemo. No surgery. Teatment ended 3/20/08. PET scan 8/08 showed no cancer.
And now, as of oct, 2010, caregiver to wife, Linda, with breast cancer.
May, 2013, Linda diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Enuf already.
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | OP "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 | It has been a good week so far. 1st, took Linda to infusion center for her weekly elecrolytes test, which has required an infusion of magnesium every week so far. Not this time. It was right at the point below which she needs the infusion so we were in and out of there in little more than an hour rather than the usual 4-5 hours.
2nd, my niece Karen went to the oncologist yesterday and the stage 4 melanoma with mets to liver is no such thing. Benign tumor. Huge sigh of relief but at the same time a bit miffed (just a bit) at the doc who did the original dx. Quack.
David R. 65 yr old male non-smoker, light drinker, stage 3 or 4, depending on which doc you ask, scc rt. tonsil, 2 nodes, 7 weeks radiation and chemo. No surgery. Teatment ended 3/20/08. PET scan 8/08 showed no cancer.
And now, as of oct, 2010, caregiver to wife, Linda, with breast cancer.
May, 2013, Linda diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Enuf already.
| | | | | Joined: Mar 2011 Posts: 1,024 "OCF Kiwi Down Under" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | "OCF Kiwi Down Under" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Mar 2011 Posts: 1,024 | Whew. Really great news re your niece. Yep, I too would be rather peeved. Where did that diagnosis come from? Who was the pathologist who studied the biopsy? However such a relief for you all. Fabulous news.
Tammy
Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 | I agree with Tammy, great news on your niece. Not so bad with Linda, as well. I'm glad the visit was shorter and she is starting to balance her electrolytes. That's huge, too!
Best wishes for some smooth sailing, David. For you, Linda and your niece!
SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 5,264 Likes: 4 "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 5,264 Likes: 4 | That's terrific
Cheryl : Irritation - 2004 BX: 6/2008 : Inflam. BX: 12/10, DX: 12/10 : SCC - LS tongue well dif. T2N1M0. 2/11 hemigloss + recon. : PND - 40 nodes - 39 clear. 3/11 - 5/11 IMRT 33 + cis x2, PEG 3/28/11 - 5/19/11 3 head, 2 chest scans - clear(fingers crossed) HPV-, No smoke, drink, or drugs, Vegan
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 | That's great news, David!
Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)
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