Hi all ! I finished my treatment in September last year -30 radiation to parotid gland. I am healing overall but find I am very emotionally detached from friends and can rather do without. Anyone experience the same??

Many who have gone thru OC and its treatments end up becoming depressed. Maybe seeking a therapist to talk to would help get you back to your regular lifestyle.

I can do without most people with or without cancer most my life lol. Is this feeling different than pre treatment? Some feel a loss after treatment, get depressed, as Christine mentioned, for a number if reasons, one is all of a sudden your support team, dr visits, tests, and routine suddenly ceases, and feel something is missing. Head and neck cancer also has a high rate of depression compared to other cancers. Maybe join a support group, see a counselor, have your blood levels checked for any deficiency, TSH, Vit D, Testosterone, hemoglobin, A1C, glucose for diabetes, which can effect quality of life, mood, health.

Good luck.

It could be depression... I could be fear.... (of the unknown - will I die? Why bother?) It could also be you've outgrown them... I find myself more social now, but I do find that some stuff I thought important before is not so to me now. So maybe they are somewhat frivolous? It could be you are angry or resentful towards them...? They are moving on with their lives - didn't have to suffer as you did. How can they have fun after all I've been through? Why me?

This disease changes your mind set.

Regardless detachment in some way is an insulator. If you are detached you cannot get hurt. Or maybe you've lost your joy (depression) get help - join a support group - a face to face one - or see a therapist to talk things out.

best of luck.

Yes, I kind of had that experiance also. I think some of it was depression, but I just felt and still do feel like I don't quite fit in society like I once did. The feeling isn't as strong anymore and I am grateful for the family and friends that have helped me through all this, but I do sometimes feel like I am standing on the sidlines looking in on everyone else living their lives. It is not as negative a feeling that it once was and I am not depressed or unhappy. My life is very full and I wouldn't change a thing, if fact I think things are better than they have ever been, I just am where I am.

I experienced some of the same feelings. I'm wondering if it's some kind of normal state. The posters above me have given you some great suggestions. Maybe it will just run its course. Please keep us posted. Because we're your friends too!

Most cancer survivors experience some form of depression from very mild to that requiring professional intervention so please consult a professional experienced in post cancer Tx depression.

Hi Saffy, I totally get it. I also feel like I am standing on the sidelines. Other people have absolutely no concept of what you have been through. How can they? Of course their lives continue on rentlessly. Our lives? in some ways we do just stand still. An endless round of Doctors/hospital appointments, scans etc. And then the waiting. For good results, health improvements , always coupled with the fear of more bad news. It is difficult to move our lives onwards. It is difficult to see our friends lives move on with happiness and no disasters. My Sister constantly posts how wonderful and glorious life is. Well, I think, "Lucky you". What about me?
Yes, I get it. I also think " the tincture of Time" helps.
Tammy

I couldn't have said it better, Tammy. I hate all that rah rah, life is good stuff. Let me be happy by being unhappy sometimes lol. That's how we get by here anyway here in nyc . You hate it to love it

Here's just my two cents worth: Anytime there is a change in life, even if it's a good change, stress can accompany it, because of having to adjust to a new way of dealing with whatever comes your way. Often it causes depression - which is temporary, but it doesn't feel temporary when you are in it. I call it the "what now" feeling and caregivers get it too. When my son finished treatment, I felt at a loss because of the change - there was no longer the familiar routine of driving to treatment, having lots of doctors, nurses involved that we could depend on. It was a definite loss and stressful.

As for the rah-rah attitude, I have to agree with PaulB - it doesn't help to try to get someone to "cheer up" all at once. On a depression scale of 1-10, you cannot go from a 1 to a 10. It has to be done slowly and maybe point out some small encouraging progress. When my son was depressed, I would ask him where he was on the depression scale and if he said "4" I would ask him if he could work on making it to a 5 or a 6. If he said 4.5 that was progress.