Oh my! Guess I did not eat enough asparagus. Hey asparagus and lemon juice, sounds like a good dinner. LOL

Add a little oil or butter and you got yourself one tasty side dish... Truthfully... Someone suggested quitting radiation and drinking Tahitian noni juice... Not so much... I wanted to ask her if she was a bag of nuts - instead I smiled and said I would try the juice - but not give up my radiation...

I think a suggestion like that it highly irresponsible!

today, Alex and I stopped off to get the newspaper. The girl in the shop, probably trying to make conversation, made a comment about Alex's weight of 58Kgs (128 pounds) which at 6'1" puts him in the severely underweight category. Her suggestion that he was lucky to be so slim was met with sharp and to the point response from Alex, "Oral cancer will do that to you". Even faced with such an insensitive (and common) remark, Alex still registered her discomfort as the horror of what she had said dawned on her and softened it with "but I am better now and lucky to be alive". I think it was the shop assistant who was lucky to be alive because if it had been up to me to respond, my choice of words would have ruined her day. I feel sorry for her now, but at the time bodily harm was part of my thinking. Even so, I don't think we will buy the paper there anymore.

We had a similar thing happen to us when both Steve and I were getting our hair cut some time ago. He got his cut and then decided to go for a walk while he waited for me. No sooner was he out of the shop than my hairdresser couldn't help but ask why he was so thin and had he been ill. He hovers around 56kg at a height of 5'11 so not much different to Alex I imagine. How on earth can you ask a complete stranger these things. She quickly learnt to mind her own business when I told her he was recovering from oral cancer and had actually put on 5kg. She didn't quite no what to say and I've got to say my haircut sped up a great deal. You really have to worry as to where people's manners are these days.

I guess that I have just learned to deal with the comments. Most people speak out of concern, and don't realize how they sound. I am just glad to be here, despite the fact that I still can't eat much, and I'm tired a lot.

maybe I'm just sensitive, but I absolutely hate it when I tell people I'm a cancer survivor, and they respond with....How long have you HAD cancer? It angers me because I just said I am cancer free(thank god) and they just assume that I still have cancer. I know they probably don't mean a thing, but it bothers me soooo much

ocs

[quote]What we've got here is a failure to communicate[/quote].IMO, that classic line from Cool Hand Luke sums this up. Perhaps those people do NOT hear you say you are Cancer free, because that's not their definition of cancer survivor. There is an interesting Wiki article on it that does not provide any answers but lots of viewpoints.
Cancer survivor- wiki While I am old enough to remember when you had to be 5 years free of cancer to be an "official" survivor, as the Wiki article points out, the current definition starts at diagnosis so some "cancer survivors" still have cancer. The best my doctors will say is NED (no evidence of disease)and not "cancer free" so I don't use that phrase myself. However, people don't realize just how sensitive this issue is, especially if they are implying that your cancer could come back as that is not something to joke about. Congratulations on your recovery
Charm

Thanks Ned, I'm sure your right. I am sensitive still and trying so hard to get my life back. I guess when they say that to me, it's reinforcing what I'm thinking in the back of my head, yet trying so hard not to admit. So if that's the case, how do you move on? I often ask myself the tough question of, "If I was cancer free and I met a man that said, "I had cancer two years ago", how would I feel about getting involved with that person. Would I be afraid to get involved with someone that might have a reaccurrance? Would I want to risk loosing that person? The worse question of all is, would I simply be selfish and say, "I don't want all that baggage"!! I have got all those reactions and more. I try not to judge these individuals, yet, it makes me feel as if I have the C word tattooed on my forhead

I have lost a few more pounds lately. People just don't think! My own sister said to me, "Edgar and I think you look so much better a little heavier"! Well now, being that swallowing is very hard as the radiation closed my throat a little, and I don't have much saliva, eating is difficult and I find no pleasure in it. I also find myself a little depressed and that also affects my eating. Did she mean to hurt my feelings? No, people just don't understand. That is why I joined this site, I feel so alone in my fight and recovery. I pray it gets better as I want to enjoy my life to the fullest.

Misty

Misty

It will get better. You made me laugh with that Ned joke. The first time I heard the phrase it was "Dancing with NED" from a cancer blog entry from a Breast cancer survivor. I was wondering who that Ned character was or if it was some obscure reference. It did not dawn on me that it was just an acronym for no evidence of disease. We use a lot of acronyms here as a form of shorthand.
But you have come to the right place. Scroll back through this thread and see how IT'S NOT YOU, we have all experienced the type of thoughtless that is oh so trying. Our emotions are so raw after this that it's a relief to be with people who understand.
Keep the faith
Charm