| | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,357 Likes: 5 "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | OP  "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,357 Likes: 5 | �Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.� ~Eckhart Tolle
via the Tiny Buddha:
There have been many times when I�ve felt overwhelmed by a sense of powerlessness, and desperate to feel some type of control.
There have been times when I�ve asked people for their opinions and then felt unsatisfied until I heard exactly what I wanted to hear. When I�ve made assumptions about negative things to come, and then obsessed over what I could do to prevent it, or what I should have done to avoid it.
In retrospect, all that mental busy work did very little to change what was coming.
It wasn�t even slightly useful or productive, and it definitely didn�t soften the blow if my fears came true and something went wrong or didn�t pan out.
In fact, it only exacerbated the situation because worrying essentially began the disappointment retroactively.
If you worry and nothing�s wrong, you�ve wasted precious time over nothing. If you worry and something is wrong, you�ve still wasted precious time.
Every time we use the present to stress about the future, we�re choosing to sacrifice joy today to mourn joy we might not have tomorrow. It may seem like we�re creating solutions or somehow protecting ourselves from pain, but in all reality, we�re just causing ourselves more of it.
Perhaps the key is to challenge that instinctive sense of fear we feel when we start thinking about uncertainty. When I look back at the most fulfilling parts of my life, I realize most of them took me completely by surprise.
I may not have gotten everything I wanted, but I�ve wanted what I�ve gotten more than often enough to compensate. The unknown may have provided some heartache, but it�s also provided adventure and excitement.
For every time I�ve felt disappointed, there�s been another moment when I�ve felt a sense of wonder. Those are the moments we live for�when all of a sudden we see the world through new eyes in a way we could never have known to predict.
Uncertainty is the cost of that deeply satisfying, exhilarating, spontaneous sense of awe.
It would be easy to say that mindfulness is the answer to worrying. If you�re truly immersed in the present moment, there wouldn�t be any reason to fixate on what might be coming. But I suspect that it�s inevitable we�ll do that from time to time. We�re only human, after all.
Maybe a better suggestion is a combination of being in the moment and trusting in the one to follow.
We can�t always control what it will look like, but we can know that more often than not, it will lead to something good if we�re open to it. When it doesn�t, we�ll get through it�and faster if we haven�t already overwhelmed ourselves with what-ifs and worst-case scenarios.
On the other side of worry, there�s trust. We can�t always trust in specifics, but we can trust in ourselves.[i][/i]
Donna,69, SCC L Tongue T2N1MO Stg IV 4/04 w/partial gloss;32 radtx; T2N2M0 Stg IV; R tongue-2nd partial gloss w/graft 10/07; 30 radtx/2 cispl 2/08. 3rd Oral Cancer surgery 1/22 - Stage 1. 2022 surgery eliminated swallowing and bottom left jaw. Now a “Tubie for Life”.no food envy - Thank God! Surviving isn't easy!!!! .Proudly Canadian - YES, UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE IS WONDERFUL! (Not perfect but definitely WONDERFUL)
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 62 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | | Supporting Member (50+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 62 | That is lovely and so important to remember!! Thanks for sharing.
Last edited by cbhh; 02-08-2011 07:27 AM.
Catherine, SCC floor of mouth DX 2010,unclear margins, PET scan clear, no chemo or rad,biopsy in 9/2010, 2nd excision 10/2010 didn't get all carcinoma in situ; partial gloss & excis. right floor 2/2/2011 margins clear. Part.gloss-10/5/2011 sev dys clean marg. HPV neg. Don't smoke or drink. SCC floor of mouth left side 4/2016. Dysp excis. rt palate 7/2017 Part gloss sev dys lat marg 2/2019 Part gloss free flap rt neck disc 5/2020 Part gloss bilat neck disc 7/2020 33 rad 3 cis.
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 | that is amazing...thank you for sharing this
Young Frack, SCC T4N2M0, Cisplatin,35+ rads,ND, RT Mandiblectomy w fibular free flap, facial paralysis, "He who has a "why" to live can bear with almost any "how"." -Nietzche "WARNING" PG-13 due to Sarcasm & WAY too much attitude, interact at your own risk.
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 701 Likes: 1 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2009 Posts: 701 Likes: 1 |
Anita (68)
CG to husband, Clark, 79,
DX SCC 11/07, T4N0Mx, PEG 1/08, RAD, post rad infection 3/08,
HBOT 40 dives, ORN, Surg 11/09 mandibulectomy w/fibular graft.
Plastic Surg 4/10, 12/10, 3/11, 10/11, 4/12, 10/12. All PETS clear,
PEG out 1/11. 6/11 non union jaw fracture
Fractured jaw w/surgery 7/14
Aspiration pneumonia 7/21, 10/22
PEG 7/21
Botox injections
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2008 Posts: 20 Member | | Member
Joined: Dec 2008 Posts: 20 | Thank you for posting that! Much needed right now
59 yr old female Rad Tech T2N0M0 lt tonsil
IMRT x 35, no surg, no chemo.
Last treatment 11/18/08. Dealing with L'Hermittes sign presently.
Oct 2010 swollen nodes on rt. side. Biopsy: positive SCC
Jan.20,2011 radical neck dissection(6 hrs.) tonsillectomy on rt. finished 30 treatments Apr.27,2011.
| | | | | Joined: Mar 2011 Posts: 4 Member | | Member
Joined: Mar 2011 Posts: 4 | Well said! Thank you for sharing | | | | | Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 5,264 Likes: 4 "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 5,264 Likes: 4 | Thanks the perspective was well needed!
Cheryl : Irritation - 2004 BX: 6/2008 : Inflam. BX: 12/10, DX: 12/10 : SCC - LS tongue well dif. T2N1M0. 2/11 hemigloss + recon. : PND - 40 nodes - 39 clear. 3/11 - 5/11 IMRT 33 + cis x2, PEG 3/28/11 - 5/19/11 3 head, 2 chest scans - clear(fingers crossed) HPV-, No smoke, drink, or drugs, Vegan
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 5,264 Likes: 4 "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 5,264 Likes: 4 | Especially after this morning. Ugh
Cheryl : Irritation - 2004 BX: 6/2008 : Inflam. BX: 12/10, DX: 12/10 : SCC - LS tongue well dif. T2N1M0. 2/11 hemigloss + recon. : PND - 40 nodes - 39 clear. 3/11 - 5/11 IMRT 33 + cis x2, PEG 3/28/11 - 5/19/11 3 head, 2 chest scans - clear(fingers crossed) HPV-, No smoke, drink, or drugs, Vegan
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