Brian, as usual I find your answers very enlightening.

Yes, I have come to the conclusion that I need some help even dealing with the fear. I read your response twice Brian and i thank you for it. I'm stuck and very afraid and can't seem to get a handle on it. I'm afraid of any and everything at this point. I know that my test results are out of my control. I'm more afraid now than I've ever been in my life. I'm going to talk to my dr about needing some help coping. I know that I'm in this position because of my own actions. I really don't deserve my own self-pity. This is my own fault. Thanks again for your reply. I really appreciate the time you have taken to respond to me. I got the message loud and clear..." much of it in the end is not ever going to be in your control."

Sherrone,

My first reaction after reading your post was, "Wow!" There is no need to blame yourself for any of this. Dwelling on the past is a waste of time! First of all, do you know that almost everyone gets HPV somehow and someway? However, some people's immune systems fight it off and nothing ever happens. It makes me so sad to think that you feel this is your fault. It's not your fault!

I'm sending happy thoughts and calming energy your way, Sherrone. I know this is a difficult time for you, but you need to find a moment of peace. We have all been there! Trust me, I am only 23 years old and I was not ready to deal with cancer. You will get through this and we are all here for you, but you need to stop beating yourself up. Let me tell you, if my pathology results come back positive for HPV, I will not be ashamed. I will tell people about it because the information on HPV needs to be known!

Perhaps some form of exercise will help your anxiety a little. In the meantime, I will be thinking about you, Sherrone.

"Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves- regret for the past and fear for the future." -Fulton Ourster

Ashley

Ashley, you are wise beyond your years.