Well no wonder you are feeling down emotionally...loneliness can breed some rough times. Add a divorce to the loneliness and things can feel monumentally worse.

From what I have witnessed, doing soul work requires a deep-seeded spirituality. This is just my humble opinion, but I don't think you should waste your money on that route if you aren't all that spiritual.

What can you do to move past the loneliness? How far away is your family, when is the last time you saw them?

Why is it that you get sick when you exercise? Have you tried any milder forms of exercise...like yoga or pilates? Both are nurturing for the body and the mind.

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I wish there was a simple solution, but working out of a depression and loneliness takes some concentrated effort.

Are you an animal person? Have you thought about getting a dog? Or volunteering at a shelter where there are other wonderful people?

I hope others here have some ideas that might be useful for you.

What are your interests?

Im sorry you are going thru so many things at once. OC isnt easy but when dealing with after effects along with other hi stress things in life can make someone feel pretty miserable.

Have you tried exercise? You said it makes you ill. I was never an exercise person either, but recently found that I enjoy bike riding. I hadnt done it for about 30 years and went for a ride with my son. We had such a great time that I went out and bought a bike. Its amazing how much better you feel when doing something active. We went on a 26 mile ride and I felt a huge sense of accomplishment which boosted my self confidence. I bet if you would try, you could find some type of activity, even walking.

By doing something positive and completing an activity will give you a sense of pride. That is going to lift your spirits. Hope you find an activity to get involved with.

TRT,, I live alone but I sure don't need any of that garbage to keep my old ass moving about and happy. Go outside, hand dig a garden and take care of it, go for log walks and enjoy what you see and talk to people you meet along the way. If you see someone having a problem, stop and help. Just do things as they come and life is great.Apparently you have a compute . Thera are a lot of places to chat on these without the porn trash, but some very nice people. Maybe some of your neighbors even. Go to a mall and walk around and watch people and things they do. Man there are many ways to add to your life wothout some Quack reaching into your pocket or bankbook.

Trt,

#1...don't get a dog to make you feel better....SORRY Margaret!

Sometimes, I get moody, sad, angry, depressed, upset..whatever--my emotions are endless, all of our emotions are endless....I also have a lot of good moments. Basically, though...this cancer is hard...cancer in general is hard because it's a reminder that everything we know and have can be gone tomorrow. There are a lot of things I think of because of my cancer and tx's that I never would have ever contemplated for myself before I went through all of it...it happened and I have to move forward.

Trt...you have to look at yourself and figure it all out...Be honest with yourself and try to move forward and do whatever makes you feel better.

What makes me feel better? Family, my GF, friends, my dog, animals in general, my lousy barely hanging on garden, living in general makes me happy among a lot of other things too...

Find something that makes you happy and develop that and move forward...Be grateful, after-all...you're two years past the hardest part of your life...

It can always be worse...now I gotta go to bed before I drop my half-empty glass!!

I'm going to chime in hear and share a pretty funny story. I've always considered myself an accepting kind of a guy when it came to other people's beliefs as long as they didn't preach at me or try to convert me to some religion in any way.

I was brought up in the church and went to bible school for a short time, but then my studies led me to the path of Deism and freethinking. I, like most of the people that subscribe to Deism and Freethinking do not believe in the healing power of prayer or a other "healing" rituals. I've always allowed people to pray for me however as I respect their belief in it.

My uncle's new wife however is some sort of new age healer and uses peoples hair or personal articles to run through some sort of machine and then does phone healing. At the request of my uncle, I allowed him to take a lock of hair and submit myself to one of this gals "phone healings"...and only because I love my uncle dearly.

It actually cracked me up as the gal was using cold/warm reading techniques. I found out later that she charges $500/healing session and makes a comfortable living...man people are idiots.

I'm with Jim and Charm, if you need something for your "soul" do something good for somebody else...makes me feel good.

"Someone else" includes all animals.