Leo, I have had the exact surgery that your girlfriend is about to have. I am doing fine, and you would not be able to tell that I had had surgery.
One thing I want you to change right now, for both of your sakes, is discussing her surgery in terms of "ripping out her teeth and bones." This is demeaning to her and to the process. The surgery is a necessity........there is NO way around it....and she will possibly feel somewhat diminished in spite of all your best efforts to convince her otherwise. Your job is to treat this surgery as a medical treatment, and your job after that is to convince her that it does not change HER in any way, nor your feelings for her. She may need that reassurance.
One thing to explore with your surgeon is whether or not he would consider doing a reconstruction surgery at the time of the cancer surgery. My surgeon didn't want to do it then, feeling that he wanted to be certain that there was no recurrence, but I understand that sometimes the reconstruction is done at the time of surgery. That surgery involves a fibular free-flap graft, taking the small bone from the lower leg, along with other tissue and a blood vessel.

The very first step, right now, before surgery, is for your surgeon to refer you to his prosthodontist, so that you can get impressions made before surgery for her appliances afterward. If he hasn't mentioned this, you need to ask.

AND if he hasn't mentioned this, you are not in the right place....not with the right dr.

Where do you live? You need to take her to a CCC for a team approach, and only then will you know that you have gotten the very best advice.

And if you continue with your alternative treatments, she will lose MORE teeth and bone than if you hadn't wasted time. Nothing is going to stop this cancer in this location except removal. I was told that, fortunately, because of the nature of these tissues, this is a location where removal is generally successful, with less chance of return than in some softer tissues of the mouth. You can be thankful for that.

Now...talk nice.....get to a CCC....make sure to have a prosthodontic consultation before surgery, and accept the fact that you and she need to be a team. Your main job will be to fix her soft meals or pour her Boost or Ensure for a while, and in the meantime, make sure she knows that she is still pretty to you.

--Colleen