Diane,

I know how you feel. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope, too. Heather was just admitted to the hospital tonight. We saw the surgeon today because she is still dealing with the pockets of fluid popping up under her chin and on the her neck. Plus the last couple days, she has felt a constriction in her throat and was having trouble breathing.

The doc scoped her and saw something suspicious on her soft palate, so they will be doing a biopsy tomorrow. She is only 29 years old and has a 6 year old daughter. I am trying to be the strong one for the family plus I am her primary caregiver, researcher & treatment advocate. My heart is breaking seeing what this is doing to her. Right now I'm crying so hard I can barely see to type, but this forum is my haven. The rest of the family just doesn't get it. Heather never smoked at all and drank very little and really doesn't deserve this. 3 of them smoke, 2 use snuff, all but one of them drink too much and not a single one of them is making any effort to change, even though they see what's happening to her and know they may be next. This sounds horrible, but I have told them I can't go through this again, especially not for someone who brings it on themself by their bad habits. But it falls on deaf ears. They watch her suffer, then go smoke their cigarettes and drink their beer anyway.

I'm sorry because this probably didn't help you at all. But I also just had to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening and please know that others do understand what you are going through.

Wishing you the strength you need to continue,
Rosie