David,

My sister and family live next door to us. We have been very close since our boys were born within months 30 years ago. I moved here from Texas to help her take care of my Mom. She is a closet smoker, at least around us...I never see her but I smell it in her car and garage.

She went thru the trauma of Bill's DX and treatment almost as intimately as I did. Also, a very close friend of hers is dying of lung cancer after years of chain smoking. Neither of these events have caused her to quit. I DON'T GET IT!

I told her once several years ago that I knew she smoked and I was worried about her and that I count not stand by and not say something...so I said it and then told her I would never lecture her again...that I knew it was her battle to fight.

I have not said anything since. It's hard and senseless and incomprehensible from a non-smoker's viewpoint. I love her and I am scared for her.

Deb


Deb..caregiver to husband, age 63 at diagnosis, former smoker who quit in 1997.
DIAGNOSIS: 6/26/07 SCC right tonsil/BOT T4N0M0
TREATMENT START: 8/9/07 cisplatin/taxol X 7..IMRT twice daily X 31.5.
TREATMENT END: 10/1/07
PEG OUT: 1/08
PORT OUT: 4/09
FOLLOWUP: Now only annual exams. ALL CLEAR!

Passed away 1/7/17 RIP Bill