Hi!

Gary, within the context of my last post, your last comment (i.e., "if you die you won't have to worry about forgiving yourself") is alarmingly deterministic, as it assumes that a recurrence automatically means death. I know you probably didn't mean this, but your comment can be easily interpreted this way. If I don't get radiation and do have a recurrence, I hope I have plenty of time to be pissed at myself. I know I'd still have plenty of fight left in me (even as I kick myself in the ass).

Nelie,I understand that your case is similar to mine in that your doctors found micro traces of cancer. However, as I understand it, there are at least two factors that distinguish my case from yours. First, yours was a stage four tumor (mine was barely a stage one). As Gary said, tumors send thousands (perhaps millions) of cells into the blood each day. Obviously, the bigger the tumor, the riskier the situation becomes (no matter how "contained" the tumor might have been). I know people here have insisted that the staging changes (it becomes higher) when they find cancer in the nodes. However, according to every doctor I've spoken to, cases of micro malignant cells like mine defy conventional staging standards. Namely, they simply have no idea what to make of it. Second, you mentioned they had found micromets in your "nodes" (meaning more than one node). As far as my doctors could tell, a microscopic speck of malignant cells (which they found after using a number of different dyes) was found in only one of my nodes.

I'll be flying to Houston early tomorrow morning and seeing the folks at MD Anderson. I have an appointment at 2:30. They will review all my records and give me a second opinion. I will make my final decision after they have made their recommendation. Luckiy, I have already completed the simulation process and I'm ready to start radiation treatment if they tell me it is warranted.

Thanks again for your comments and support.

Gino