littlesister,

I haven't had to deal with anywhere near what your brother has had to deal with but I know I have had my own moments of anger and despair. I don't know if there are any words of comfort you can offer in a situation like that other than to just be present with him and whatever he is going through. I think it can be a great gift to someone in such a lousy situation to simply acknowledge how much it sucks and not try to make them feel anything other than what they are feeling--even if it is anger and despair--just being with him while he is feeling that could be the best you can give him.

I also agree with MissKate that this sort of situation is really really hard on caregivers and you should be looking for your own support right now. Your presence won't be of value to him if you are exhausted and full of despair yourself. If you belong to a spiritual group such as a church or some other group that could support you and him, don't be shy about asking.

Nelie