Hi little sister;

Well my heart goes out to you. Its got to be excruciating and torturous to watch yur brother be so uncomfortable and so unhappy and feel so hopeless about his situation. I wish there was something that could alleviate his sense of dispair. I cna'timagine what it must feel like. I think on paper we all think we'd act one way but who really knows? Illness sure doesn't play out like we think it will... its not like in a movie or a tv show.. its like your own bad personal b movie ....

The thing is with all of his surgeriess and now this new cancer and the start of the chemo it has got to just feel beyond unbearable . I don't think anyone could blame him for being extremely extremely angry. Its a really shitty hand to have been dealt especially since he's already been through so many surgeries and treatments.

I think more than just being angry he's very very frightened and absolutely terrified.I know I sure would be and I don't know how I'd act... You and your Mom are doing 100% exactly what you should be doing... Supporting him - comforting him and trying to be positive and keep him mentally and physically strong and that is all you can do really. that and try and find things that he likes that are distracting. It isn't an easy task- Being a caretaker for someone in your brothers situation is very very trying and hard - so difficult. I think you and your Mom need to remember to reach out to friends and other family members to get support for yourselves as well. Its easy for caretakers to lose site of thier own needs.This is SO tough and draining emotionally and physically...you guys need to be able to take a break - have other people help run errands--- spend time with your brother- distract him so he won't just focus his frustrations on his immediate family - you know how it is when you are hardest on those who are closest too you.

Are you religious at all? What about his police force--- are there old friends of his that could help? I know maybe he doesn't want to see some people but you'll be amazed at how much friends and coworkers WANT to help out. He might even find it a comfort to have some old friends come by.


Well I hope maybe some of these ideas might be able to work. Just remember to get relief for yourself and for your Mom -- its a tough thing to take care of someone in your brothers siuation. I wish he would be able to heal sooon and beat this once and for all and that this wasn't so hard on him and that he had some comfort that things would get better.

He's a very brave person.



Praying for him and hoping things improve. FEel free to write me anytime!

Kate