Sophia,
Let's consider this... I would not tell you what to do one way or the other, however, I do want us to think about your situation... OK, suppose you decide to go with the oncologist (with whom the surgeon now apparently agrees), and do the chemo first. If it shrinks the place on your tongue, then there's the possibility that the surgeon would have to take less. I would tend to see that as an advantage... however, more often than not, these situations place us in some rather precarious situations where we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. We are going to have to cope with the misery of it all anyway... that's why we are here... for the most part I've done as my Drs. have suggested, and at this point I've no regrets, but when it comes to your situation, I would hope that they could find a happy medium, as it appears they have, and come to terms in an agreement. Consider going with what your doctors say... God bless, and keep on coming here... that's the most important thing... there are those of us who care. I may not be able to do much, but I can listen and communicate. Take care; you are in my prayers.