Dixie,
Just continue to ask for the strenght to carry on. Every minute of life is a miracle. I too have been through 5 years of physical and emotional turmoil. I have had multiple surgeries and proceedures for two unrelated cancers, cataracs, swallowing difficulties, and several suspected problems which turned out to be false alarms. My husband had surgery for colon cancer. I was hit by a car and came out with no more than a bruised hip. My youngest sister has been battling a very agressive form of breast cancer for 2 years. We evacuated to Houston for four months and spent a day from hell evacuating from there to San Antonio to avoid Hurricane Rita. Shortly after we received our FEMA palace and returned to New Orleans my husband landed up in the ER with a bout of life threatening asthma. We could only give long distance support to my eldest sister who relocated to her daughter in California after Katrina and the Corps of Engineers destroyed her home of 50 years and then endured the agony of having her husband survive two leg amputations and numerous hospitalizations and bouts of rehab to finally waste away and subcum just before Thanksgiving. We have a son who is a paramedic with the city of New Orleans and is a medic with the Naval Reserve. In the spring of 2005 his unit was called up for duty in Iraq. Because he still had not completed his specilazed military medic training he and a few others were sent to California and eventually were sent home in August. When Katrina hit he stayed on the job in New Orleans and for a while we had no idea if or how he survived, Then weeks would go by with no word from him. This past year he was notified that his unit was again being deployed and after several months he went in September and G-d willing will return in April.
Through all this I have come to realize that emotional pain is far worse than physical. To survive these pressures takes a great deal of faith, the acceptance of support from friends and strangers and a recognition that there are some things for which there are no answers. There are times when the best releif is to do what you have begun here. Express your fears and worries, ask for help and look for practical ways to deal with your situation.
Wishing you and Mike the best,
Malka