On my drive home today, I was thinking about people telling me they feel guilty eating around me, and why I never know what to say to that statement. Then it dawned on me that it's the same thing as saying to a paraplegic "I feel guilty walking around you". Of course, I guess many people DO feel that way in the presence of people in wheelchairs,as anyone who is wheelchair bound will tell you that when they're out in public people often seem unable look them in the eye. But I don't know anyone who feels like it's socially acceptable to TELL them that like they are supposed to be thanked for that guilt.

I'm not trying to come down hard on anyone here who has said they feel guilty because were I on the other side of this, I'm sure I would too.

But I just wonder why that statement is seen as socially acceptable (this is why I'm a social scientist--I think about things like this) and I think it's BECAUSE dysphagia is an invisible disability until you are around other people who are eating so the other person eating when you can't puts you in a situation where you visibly *become* disabled in some sense. Whereas just going into a public setting where people are standing and wealking puts a wheelchair bound person in that situation.

In terms of how to reply though, I think there really isn't a good reply to this. I have a disability. If I'm around someone who is eating it's because I choose to be most of the time. I don't know how to handle their guilt about that.

Anyway, just some thoughts while we're talking about how this affects us.

Nelie