I could have written this same message. My DH is at just about the same place as yours. He had his surgery in Feb and the docs and therapists all have about given up on his swallowing. Just me still fighting. And there hasn't been any attempt at dilation or anything like that. I will be looking for a specialist in swallowing in January. I'm giving it a year with them and then we're going somewhere to get help. I can't accept that there is no help for my DH with no attempt made with surgery or some kind of procedure to help the swallowing. DH is also depressed, at times, and refuses to see a therapist, even though I found a great therapist who went through colon cancer surgery and lives with an ostomy bag and is a male and about his age. A good person to talk to, but DH refuses. DH does his feeding at night because he has a J-tube in his intestines and has to pump in very slowly. this frees up his day, but makes for a long night, and especially if he can't sleep, he gets up and unplugs and doesn't get all his nourishment. It's so frustrating. and I cry alot too. He said the one thing he would eat right now if he could was the new "bowl" from KFC with mashed potatoes and gravy and chicken and corn. He rarely even eats ice cream anymore. I get so tired of the fight.