Hi, Mellay. This is coming from a caregiver.I can only share your experience vicariously because my John has "the Cancer". But I know that now that this has become part of our lives, and the people on this forum have become part of my family, I will be involved with cancer support groups and proactive about learning more about cancer for the rest of my days. Maybe if you can realign your attitude to something like "well, I never had a baby before-but here this one is- and I guess I better learn all I can about living with him\her, cause I'm gonna be doing it for a long time " Remember you are a survivor! Amy