Minniea,
Please do not be sorry you referred me to Christine's messages. It was what I asked for. I want to know the situation, good or bad. Christine's posts to others even after Scott's death were insightful and compassionate.
I did a search and the first post I pulled up was when she had returned from scattering Scott's ashes at his fishing cabin. I did cry, but I've done a lot of this lately. My brother has been an outdoorsman, both hunting and fishing, since his youth. Until this disease took hold he spent more time outdoors than in. Scott's option is one I hope to have the strength to discuss with my brother. Christine also suggested having hospice come in as soon as possible. His doctors have suggested that as well. I have found some solice in the hope that they can ease this time for my family. From what I've heard from others who have had hospice in their home, they are wonderful. I need someone to help guide him and us through this time and make the last few weeks we have as good as possible and help David come to terms with what is happening. David said the last few weeks his little girl (who just turned 5) has been pulling away from him. I can't help but think she senses what is going on. Also, he has had a terrible infection in his trach and the smell permiates the house. In fact, he asked his doctor, "The smell is bad, isn't it? I can't smell or taste anything, but I can smell this." (Unfortunately they were unable to do the never injection because of the infection). This smell may be causing her to shy away as well - that and him having the trach and his not being able to talk to her or being strong enough to take her fishing and fourwheeling like he use to every weekend. I have hope that hospice can help us with this as well, and she can share this time with her Daddy.
So, again, Minniea, please don't second guess your decision to share that information with me. Yes, it was hard, but what part of this disease is not? What I found gave me hope that we can cope with what lies before us and that is what I desperately need right now, hope. Hope that his pain is eased. Hope that he can come to terms with this disease that is robbing him of his life and us of him. Hope that he finds peace.
Thank you,
Tonya