Minnie - I talked with Scott and to Christine before his death. He was a warm and caring person. While I am speculating, I believe that he would want anything related to his experience, even at this time after his death, to be used to help others. Christine is also someone that I believe wants good for others who follow in her husband's path. If Christine does see your post, my take is that it will not offend her. When she and I talked about the information that I had found for them about Scott's condition (which was not positive, and painfully reaffirmed that there were no medical options) they were grateful that I had been candid and honest with them. That particular phone call was painful for all involved.... and I remember the discomfort of it today like it was yesterday.
Yes it is always painful when we bring up the name of someone now gone. There are many that I was very close to and talked with regularly on the phone before their end. Reminding me of them is uncomfortable, particularly since in those conversations I saw myself in them so easily...that I could be exactly where they were at that point in time, and there was no rhyme nor reason why I was still around. But it was still important to help them during those last few days, to answer the questions that I could, to offer the inadequate sympathies for what was happening, though the best I could do, and try to help them through the process with caring but factual information, presented candidly. We must learn from the bad things that happen to people as well as the good, in the end both types of information help us all deal with our own inevitable path to a common end... Tomorrow or 20 years from now - via cancer or some other cause. I believe that your intention was to inform, and Tonya was candidly looking for both information and support, which you have offered her. I do not find anything insensitive about speaking of the conditions of one of our own who has left us too early. When it is my time, I hope that people find something useful in my posts that they can use after I am gone. I know that especially in the beginning, that references to me will disturb Ingrid and bring up fresh thoughts in her mind of a painful experience. But I also know that she understands that the greater good of spreading understanding and information is being served by such a posting. I think that whomever sent you the email hasn't considered all this, and when they do, they will find value in offering information to those in need of it, painful as it may be to remember those we loved and lost.
To Tonya, I do not know if your brother's condition is the same as Scott's, and you cannot read into the postings on these boards a medical answer. Because some bumps in one person mean one thing, none of those of us who have not seen the patient, who are not doctors, etc., can tell you exactly what this all means. These postings that contain "information" may not reflect your situation. Please keep that in mind and know that we all hope for the best possible outcome for both of you.
