Well its me again. Back with the sick feeling in my stomach not able to eat or think about anything except my mom and what if she is having another recurrance.....

She went to her ENT on Thursday and he says it looks like she is healing nicely he can still see the exposed bone and when he taps on it my mom cannot feel it and she says that is not where the pain is coming from but it is coming from a spot further back in her mouth. He presses on that area and it really hurts her. My theory and correct me if I'm wrong is that even though the bone is dead in that area the pain could be coming from the dead bone. Her doctor agrees that it could be because the bone is definately a continuam (sp) and it could be hurting there because of infection or something but he seems a little concerned. According to him he does not believe that she would be healing if it was a recurrance and he says that it does not have the appearance of any cancer he has ever come into contact with so his feeling is about 80% that the pain is being caused by the exposed bone. If he was more concerned he would have biopsied that day in his office (quote). She will see the dentist on Monday and he will try to knock off the dead bone but as of right now she is scheduled for more surgery to scrape down the bone and to remove the tissue around the area to be biopsied. She will be in the hospital for 4 days and this time he is giving her a feeding tube. We will get the results of the biopsy on Tuesday after the surgery. This is all very overwhelming to me and I have that horrible feeling once again.

I talked to my mom and asked her what she thinks and she told me that she believes it is a recurrance. I don't know if she feels that way because of the past or because she is preparing herself but at any rate I am extremely concerned and scared. I know thats its not cancer until they say that its cancer and I'm getting by on that right now but my heart will be broken and I do not know what I will do if this is indeed another recurrance. She told me she will not have any additional surgeries after this one and when I told her doctor that he told me that.... Head and Neck Cancer treated is horrible but Head and Cancer untreated is a persons worst nightmare and he assured me that he can very convincing if he has to be.

So for now what I guess that I am asking is that you all pray for my mom Barbara because we all love her so very much and this will be more than we can take.

Thank you,
Dani