Thanks for the encouragment everyone, Today has been a better day for me, Hubby had Chemo + Radiation today,he wanted to go by himself so I could catch up on a few things @ home... So it was a full day at the C Center for him, I had spoke to the Dr on the phone, but decided to run down there and make sure he got the meds he needed,good job I did as the horse size pills would never have gone down! They forgot to put liquid! I drove hubby home and then went shopping, I purchased every suitable drink I could find! came home, lined them up and told him to choose one! My husband looked at them, then looked @ me and so " Oh! So the b*t**h back?!!!!!" I just laughed.... I am far from being the caregiver I was or should be in my opinion, Understanding WHY I felt this way from the above posts was a big help, I guess I am not out of the woods yet, but having a map sure does help.
Will update later.
TC Everyone and thanks again.
Sammie

C/G to Husband Richard SCC Op 4/1/2005 T2N0M0,Neck disection, 35% of tongue removed.
Reoccurance 3/2007,Lymph Node same side Positive SCC, Swelled to 2.5 inches. IMRT X35 Cis X3 Completed 33 IMRT Cis x2 carbo X1 MET to lungs post treatment 10/04/2007
Passed peacefully 31st July 2008.