Sammie,

Good advice from Minnie. Also, your husband may not be the only one who needs an antidepressant. If you keep feeling this full of despair yourself, see a doctor and ask for one yourself. Also, I agree, read the posts from all the survisors hree who had big lymph tumors that disappeared with rad and chemo. And hang in there because chances are you will start to see this one shrinking with another few weeks of radiation.

Also pull out all the stops in terms of finding support for the two of you. It's hard for lots of people to ask for help but don't let your pride get in the way, help is what you need here and people who you don't even know well are around and willing to give it if you look. Look for cancer support groups and caregiver support groups in your town. If you belong to a church, be sure to let someone know what you are going through. You probably also have friends and co-workers wondering what they can do to help. Find stuff for them to do. In my case I had friends that came over and sat with me (mainly I was sleeping or in a pain-med haze watching TV) during my last weeks of treatment when my husband was desperate for a little time off. Do you have some friends who might be willing to do that? Other friends of mine came over and actually cleaned my house since I had a low WBC from the chemo and my husband appeared unable to use the vaccuum or the mop even under those circumstances. A woman I didn't even know from my church came over and weeded my garden that Spring.

Let other people be kind to you and be kind to yourself. You CAN get through this and you will be a stronger person at the end of it.

Nelie