I haven't posted here since the initial diagonosis. We decided on MD Anderson and he had six weeks of weekly chemo of paxitaxol and carboplatin. He did well and we flew back and forth for the treatment. He continued to work and even played golf a bit. The treatments were on Monday and usually by Thursday he started to feel fatigued and had some other side effects. We moved to temporary housing in an apartment in Houston on March 5. It seems like it has gone down hill. After only a few radiation treatments he felt worse. The schedule is radiation five days a week for six weeks and twice a day the last five days a total of 35 IMRT. He gets Eributux once a week and has mouth sores, fatigue, weakness, and nausea. I feel like a cheerleader trying to come up with things to eat/drink. We have Ensure, Boost and Carnation VHC. It takes an hour to get 8oz down. Everything tastes bad and/or burns his mouth. I've tried creamed soups, milkshakes, etc. He is depressed and so am I. I wish there was something I could do to make this go away. I know it isn't rational, but it kills me to see him in pain, weak and so miserable. I am strong around him, but underneath I just want to cry. I wish there was a time machine to go at warp speed and have the treatment over. He is only 2 1/2 into the radiation and from what I read it will get worse. We have numerous mouth swishes for the sores, and nausea pills, but nothing seems to really work. I am trying to be strong, but I am falling apart when I am alone. I never thought I'd like to go to the grocery store, it gets me out and I can forget the mess. I thank God I am in an apartment with a separate living room, kitchen and patio. I can let him sleep while I do other things, but don't want to go too far in case he needs me. I'm sorry, I just need to vent. I talk to friends at home, but feel very alone no one can really understand. We have friends in Houston, but with the mucousitis he certainly doesn't feel social. Oh well, this too shall pass.