Minky, yeah he's from the Depression era. Gary, thanks again. Your thoughts are always very helpful. Brian, thank you for the links, I browsed through the grieving info and it surely hits home w/me. Amy and Eileen, yep I'm working this thing out. I don't want to do anything self destructive. I really watch myself because I don't know that I necessarily trust myself around certain things (meds or booze) if I'm having a difficult time. I do believe that my dad truly appreciated what I did for him, with the exception of taking him to the hospital. For whatever reason, his final wish was to die at home and I still feel bad that I wasn't able to keep my word regardless that the hospital was the best place for him to be. I'll get over it. I just wish that he would have agreed with my decision and we could have had a hug and a kiss and an I love you as opposed to what was said. It's not the way I wanted things left. I wish I could pick up the phone now and say hey, pop. Can we discuss this?...and he'd probably understand why I did what I did. I don't like breaking promises, but this was one that I couldn't hold up my end of the bargain.
I think he could rationalize that, I hope so anyhow. I honestly did the best I could given the situation. I need to understand that for myself and hope that he would be able to understand that as well. Thanks everyone for your thoughts and for letting me put mine down. It's helping me sort things out. 3:10 AM, oh boy. I haven't been up this late, this consistently, since college.
My education continues thanks to everyone here. Thanks you guys...and good night. I hope you are all doing well. Best regards,

Sleepless in Chicago, Dave