You are all so right. Thank you for your kindness and suggestions. The past few days have been a little better. I think it was so bad last week because we had our first real cold spell - 5 degrees, I think. Anyway, I kept worrying David was cold - so stupid, I know. I am aware his soul is not in the ground, but I worried just the same. I finally felt brave enough to share that with my sister and we both cried because she had been thinking about the same thing. That made me feel a little more "normal", if there is such. You're so right about his wife, too. I can't imagine what she goes through or how she gets from one day to the next. We all have our own ways of coping. At least she's looking to the future, not lost in the past like I have been. I do love her, I just hurt for David.
Karen, thank you for sharing your daughter's words. Children always have such gems of wisdom.
Candace, I think the memorial garden is a great idea. I haven't been able to visit his grave this past week - the pain has been too great (and people keep stealing the little mementos I leave him - which makes me angry on top of everything else). But a memorial garden in my back yard would be nice and I could put the keepsakes there - one is a stone I ordered. I haven't taken it to his grave because I didn't want it stolen, but it reads, "If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever." If there was one thing I could say to my brother it would be that, but I think he already knows.
Lee, I am so sorry you have lost so many close to you. I can't even imagine the strength it takes to get through that.
Thank you all and I promise to be more positive in the future. Please know your hugs and words have reached across the distance and I am feeling better.