Tonya I do not post often but like you I am having a really hard time dealing with the death of my mom. It's been almost a year to the day that I lost my mom unexpectdly. I was her primary caregiver and we had went through the chemo and radiation and we thought we had got past the hard stuff. 5 months after treatment she died alone in the hospital and I never even got the chance to say good-bye. I like you keep trying to tell myself she is in a better place, and is at peace, but it still hurts so much. My dad is now alone, well he has us, but they had so many dreams, and he is in so much pain . I try to be strong for him but it is hard. I want the holidays to be over. I have a little girl that is 6 and she keeps asking me, mommy why dont you like Christmas? I guess because it was my moms favorite holiday, and she died 8 days befor. She keeps telling me not to worry about it and that Santa will take care of everything. I want to make this holiday special, and I am going to try.
Tonya i just want you to know You are not alone in this. And we will get through it.