I understand your worries and daily thoughts of loosing your loved one. My Mom has rt tonsil & tongue cancer and she has completed radiation and 30 TX of chemo just to have it come back. She than had her right tonsil removed about 1 month ago and now they want to scrap that area or do a flap type surger of the jaw and tongue area. She is in so much pain every morning that she just cries and her attitude is far from positive. She is already planning not being her much past Christmas. This is so difficult to hear your own Mom say. She just doesn't want any other surgies! She has refused to do the flap surgery because she feels she can't make it threw it. She has had a peg tube for about 5-6 months now and doesn't eat or drink anything by mouth. Even though, the doctors tell her it would be beneficial to her healing process she says she can't do it. It is so hard because I want to support her but I also want her to fight harder! Than I feel so selfish for thinking and feeling that way. I work full-time and have two kids that are 5 & 2 and I can't spend enough time in one place. I came to this website to educate myself on the treatments available and hope that I can talk her into not giving up. I would appreciate any advice to help with this struggle. I should also mention that I lost a close friend who was 35 years old two months ago to stomach and liver cancer and he had two children 2& 4. He fought this cancer with everything he had and he was told in the beginning that it was NOT curable! On some days he would lay in the chair next to my Mom getting his chemo and between watching him fighting with everything he had and my Mom's negative attitude and than loosing him, I can't sort all these feelings out! Thanks for listening!!!!