I'm going to address this forum directly since I've seemed to anger some of you.I never said he was not treated by some of the best doctors in the world!I am well aware that he was.I'm going to give a small taste of what he endured so that you can understand my position a little better.


When Tony was first diagnosed the cancer was localized to his tongue,soft palate and hard palate.All the ct's mri's and every other test he had showed no mets to any nodes nor had it metasized to any organ.They classified him at stage 1.This they said was great news since any mets with oral cancer lessens your chances greatly.We were assured since it had been caught earliy that he had a very good chance at a 70% remission rate.Only due to these recomendations did he proceed with the sugery.I must add that he had no other medical issues and was not a smoker.


He had surgery which orignally was just to remove the tumor and a 1/3 of his tongue,and small piece of his soft palate.He had a graft done to try to fill the void.Well as I'm sure which has happened with many of you the graft didn't take.He developed a staph infection.I am well aware that these are some of the effects from surgery.So onward on upward we went after 3 weeks in the hospital he was cleared to go home.He just began to get sicker,I told the doctors over and over again that he just wasn't right.I was told it was just his body responding to the surgery and infection.He lost nearly 60lbs(before chemo and rads).He had a peg but was just not gaining weight .

Now we are up to a month after surgery and the medical and radiation oncologists start their procedures.You all know what chemo and rad.does to you,but for him it seemed to be much worse.All the side effects from chemo seemed to be 10 fold.The doctors told me I was exagerating.I tell you I was not!!!Since I am not a medical professional we allowed them to continue their courses of treatment even though Tony begged me to stop.He wanted some quality of life if something was going to shorten his life quickly.Yet we were assured that this was the best way to go.I am not an ignorant man and I know they were trying to get it into remission.The problem I have is that during this whole time it was spreading all over his body and all he wanted was some peace.Well he never got any he suffered right until he took his last breath,so yes,maybe I am very angry.

I wanted just to give the young lady (patty) some heads up so when her father began treatment she wouldn't be as complacent as I was.You are all right that there isn't enough known about melanomas(oral or otherwise).So,I ask you do not judge me harshly I watched the man I love suffer and die before my eyes while he begged me to just leave him in peace.I thought if there was the slightest chance they could give me more time with him I would take it.So I guess in the end I am just angry at the loss of my beloved and I couldn't control it and I couldn't stop his suffering.I have come to the conclusion that sometimes it's worse being the care giver.You suffer every pain and ill with them and when their time to be in peace comes you are still left to ask why?

I wish good health and happiness to all.

Brandon.