I can relate to that "I still can't beleive this is happening to me" feeling. I mean., the stuff you have to go through in treatment IS pretty unbelievable. I have described it to patients who have gone through treatments for other cancers and even they are surprised. The Mask pinning you to the table. Chemo and radiation at the same time. Not being able to swallow or speak. Amifostine that makes you violently puke every single day. Serious burns all over your neck and lower face. Some of us don't have to deal with all this--for example they get through the amisoftone easier or don't burn as badly--but it is a pretty big ordeal when you look at it from a step back.

From inside it, you just keep taking one day at a time and do what you have to do. But there really is an air of unreality about going through it sometimes. From a 2 year post-treatment vanatge point, sometimes I can't believe I WENT through all that.
Nelie