Hey Jeepster,
My husband, Dan, had surgery first, modified neck dissections (where they only took few from each side) and graft from leg to tongue. We got the call about negative nodes and were told "no radiation" and jumped for joy. Never knew to question that and less then 4 months later he gets an agressive neck tumor, thus throwing us into radical neck dissection where they couldn't get all the tumor to 8 weeks chemo/rad. Isn't hindsight something? While we were jumping for joy about no rad...that was exactly what he needed! So, don't beat yourself up...trust me it sure doesn't help. We will have testing on the 14th to see how the treatment worked on his cancer. Meanwhile, I have been on Xanax and Ambien for a few months. I never took anti-depressants before, but it has really helped me...that and belief that God holds our lives in His hands, crys and suffers with us. Hope you have a great support system...it has helped me tremendously as the caregiver and you guys are in my prayers!
Debbie