Well, Girl, you just gotta decide you`re going to be one of the five. Frank fought to stay alive for over 5 yrs..........We were an example of everything you do wrong.......he had regular radiation first, we were to shocked and dumb to yell second opinion..........he ended up 2 yrs ago, literally having the whole lower part of his face removed.......mandible reconstructed from leg,so a limp came along with that.......tongue was reconstructed and he ended up with a permanent trach. first surgery was 14 hrs plus, followed by 4 more surgeries. We never gave up and we never gave in, I truly believe our mental outlook helped us.....hell, I didn`t care how he looked as long as I had him alive, and I know you`re feeling the same way.......and I really think loved ones should be sedated for the surgery.......I never thought those hours would end...........remember, you`re in lots of peoples prayers.......love and Hugs, Dee