Thanks Kirk for your words of wisdom, they helped. I guess I should have gave more history. Bob was diagnosed June 18, 2004 (2 1/2 months after our wedding)1 centimeter tumor found at base of tongue, neck dissection & biopsy of tumor on July 1; 34 lymph nodes removed with 2 nodes containing cancer. IMRT Aug-Oct. Feeding tube since end of Sept; weight loss of 50 pounds. Currently, healing from radiation, throat still sore but not as painful, trying to decrease pain meds & starting to eat very soft foods.

I think since Bob is improving physically, we both now are thinking of how cancer may/not effect our future. He has been extremely strong throughout all of this & I have done my best to support, love & care for him. Now, we are talking again about the possibility of children, making updates on our home, planning vacations etc. you know~normal life activities! But, there is always that dark cloud called cancer hanging in the lurches causing us to question. So, I hope that this week we might know more about how much the radiation worked in destroying the tumor, scheduling scans, what to expect for the future, etc etc. I am really afraid of walking out of the appointments & not nothing anything more that what I know now. Maybe that sounds stupid, but living with ambiguity is so difficult! Perhaps my prayer this week should be exactly what you said, "help us to find peace in our new normal."
Thank you Kirk, happy Monday
PS I am going to be in Floriday next week, vacationing with my mom & 6 other family members on Anna Maria Island!