Hi Jen; I hope you will tell your Docs how you are reacting to the morphine. It makes me very nauseated so I take a pass on that drug as well.
There is a large arsenal of narcotic and non-narcotic analgesics that can be used to help you with pain. Don't hold back on communicating with the folks who can remedy your immediate problem. I believe that it is difficult to feel the way you do on morphine. Ask for a change in meds..it's your body.
What others think of you (delusional etc) isn't something you have to fret about right now..forward motion through your treatment, and on to recovery...that's the goal we all seek.
Bless you as you start this journey; your fiesty resilient attitude will serve you well..Bravo
All the best,
Fran