Hello, Karen. With regard to the smoking, I had to take my dad's pipe away after several strokes when he kept setting fire to everything around him. It did not please him, but it was a serious safety concern. So just do what you must. It is tough, but something that must be done. My dad adjusted and I hope your mother-in-law will understand also. Keep in mind that this is a safety issue for the entire family and do not let go of that thought.