Hi, Christine,

I am so sorry that you have to go through this treatment which requires so much of you physically and emotionally and then do all of the planning/logistics as well. My husband is going through treatment right now (just beginning the 4th week of what will be a total of 13 weeks). We have one child who is beginning graduate school in a few weeks and no other family members in the area. However, we have lots of friends who kept asking what they could do to help so our daughter sent a group email about my husband's diagnosis and projected treatment. In this email she mentioned that many had asked how they could help. She then specifically told them HOW they could help- e.g., driving him once or twice to the hospital for treatment(in your case, driving you, picking up your kids, taking them someplace or taking them overnight), bringing a meal of soft food such as soups, pasta that people going through this treatment can eat (even if it's just 2 bites and remember that your kids need to eat as well), running an errand, keeping my husband company for a short time, etc. She framed the email in terms of mainly providing information about his treatment but left it open for those who wanted to help to find some way to help that would satisfy their wish to help and provide us with some much needed help. We occasionally send out email "updates." Basically, I cannot imagine going through this without emotional and logistical support. It is simply too much. It is very difficult for me to ask for help but this is one time where even if you had a partner or family member who pretty much was there for you full-time, you would still need company, additional help with something, or your caregiver would need relief. I have found that many people really want to do something to help- so we tried to make it simple by being specific about our needs and our appreciation for any help we received. So, if someone wants to do just one thing to help, that is one less thing that I need to try to do. Your kids might really come through for you if you are clear that all of you are going to go through this together and that you will need their love and support.

My thoughts will be with you- I am trying to figure out how I can do the caregiving, be a mom (albeit to a young adult), be a daughter to my ailing parents, and work full-time. I cannot even imagine how overwhelmed you must feel being the one who is trying to do all of these things and go through treatment.

Sophie