Hi, I'm Kendra... I'm new to all of this...this site and cancer.

My father was recently diagnosed with cancer. They found it in his tongue and we're currently looking into seeing where else it may be. But, I must say... I personally am losing my wits.

I'm a twenty year old college student in Springfield, Massachusetts. I took a few weeks off from school to stay with my father who is in Chesapeake, Va. He found out about the cancer about three weeks ago. He started to roll over and play dead, which frustrated me. I was lost and hurt, I wasn't ready to lose my dad. He came to Massachusetts to tell his family of his condition. Luckily, a few of his closer family members knocked some sense into him and he is agreeing to seek treatment.


He is scared of losing part of his tongue and going through all of the treatment and still coming out losing in the end.

I'm trying so hard to be his strength. I'm still young and have never lost a close family member. (Several close friends but not a family member.) The thought of what my father is going to have to go through and the fact he will never be the same kills me.

But, it's hard. I'm sure everyone who reads this understands how hard it is to deal with it. I don't even know what stage it is yet because we're waiting for the scans. But my god... it's hard being in the dark. It's hard dealing with it. I cry nearly every day because of it. Even as I write this, I'm crying. I'm scared of not knowing what is to come.. and how his life and my life will change.

So... I guess I need to know what is the best thing to do to continue to be his strength but not lose myself either.

PS... he still smokes his cigarettes and will not listen to me that he needs to give up... any recommendations?