Hi Kerry, I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time. My husband Jack has 11 more radiation treatments and 2 more rounds of cisplatin to go and there are days when all of us are in that bathroom crying. Hang in there. Perhaps you've already tried this but for what it's worth to control nausea we use Zofran twice a day with Compazine suppositories for break through. On the chemo weeks we add Emend for 3 days. It's an aggressive medication regime but it's worked for Jack. I also do extra hydration at home in the evenings. The peg tube works fine for non chemo weeks but I do 12 hours additional IV hydration through his port on chemo weeks becuase of the nausea. Decadron is pretty standard as a premedication with chemo along with Ativan.
There is no way to get an answer to the what if questions and you have to find a way to work through that. I'm saying that having not exactly done it myself - but I know it's where we all have to get to. My husband has extensive lymph node invovlement and while we hope the radiation and chemo will kill the remaining cancer cells off but there is no way of knowing for sure. We're just going to have to wait for the results of the scans and the check ups. I was at a low point this week trying to come to terms with it and then I ran into an aquaintance who has been dealing with stage 4 ovarian cancer for 3 years. She has periodic chemo treatments and told me when one drug stops working they try another. She's gone back to work, resumed teaching exercise classes and she just makes the best of it. As I listened to her I realized none of us know how things are going to turn out in many situations, and worrying myself sick wasn't going to get me any additional clarity.
You're not crazy and you're not alone. I hope the upcoming week is better for you both.
Regards JoAnne