Hi Patti,
I have thought about how I might act if I am faced with dying from this in the near future. In all honesty, I could think about it for 24 hours straight and still not be able to predict how I would act. I can GUESS that I might want to be left alone, that is my way when I am scared, etc. I can GUESS that I might try to distance myself from the people I love and the people that love me so that my death will be easier on them. I can GUESS that I might take up a habit that I enjoy (such as smoking) since I know I'm going to die regardless and that habit relieves some of my overwhelming stress. I can also GUESS that I would be severely depressed. Now, all this is guessing and in reality I might not do any of this. When I read your post I could understand, in a sense, some of Joe's behavior. It must be difficult, at such a frightening time, to put others feelings ahead of how you are feeling. In your shoes I would be there when he needed me, talk to him as much as I could, and try to understand that he is doing what HE needs to do to get through such a terrifying ordeal. I hope that he eventually comes to terms with the fact that he is dying and that he opens up again to you and his family. If he doesn't, I hope you can understand that he handled it the way he knew how.